Happy Easter to you and your family on this special day. This will briefly discuss the principles for developing a strategy of when to take Social Security benefits. Information from Vanguard is at the beginning. At the end are some Easter quotes.
Vanguard
Although a credit-rating agency's warning about the outlook for the U.S. government's debt burden dominated headlines this week, reports on the economy were more optimistic. The housing market, though weak, showed some improvement, and leading economic indicators showed an economic recovery that remains on track. For the week ended April 21, the S&P 500 Index rose 1.3% to 1,337 (for a year-to-date total return—including price change plus dividends—of about 6.9%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note fell 3 basis points to 3.40% (for a year-to-date increase of 10 basis points).
Social Security Strategy
Some of the biggest decisions that a person or couple can make is how and when to take Social Security benefits. Unfortunately, little planning seems to be given to optimizing these benefits. Recently, I had lunch with a friend and client to discuss a strategy which is why I am writing about it today. Yes, Social Security will be around for a long time. A strategy should be developed around who is the primary and who is the secondary recipient and the age of the recipient.
The concept is to take Social Security benefits as soon as you can to reduce debt, like car loans and your mortgage. For the average person, it is important to have no debt in retirement. For a couple, the idea is to shift income to a spouse while still contributing and growing future benefits.
Example 1: If you own a business, you can reduce your income from the business and shift it to your spouse. In this manner you can collect benefits and your spouse can build-up their Social Security benefit while having more total income as a couple.
Example 2: If the situation is a working and getting paid spouse, who is the primary recipient, and a working but not getting paid spouse, who is the secondary recipient. The strategy is for the secondary recipient to collect as soon as possible and for the primary recipient to work as long as possible. In this manner the total income goes up and with the primary recipient working the annual amount will continue to increase.
Bottom Line: If you are going to be applying for Social Security benefits soon, please contact me so that we can discuss a strategy.
Easter Quotes
The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. ~Robert Flatt
The joyful news that He is risen does not change the contemporary world. Still before us lie work, discipline, sacrifice. But the fact of Easter gives us the spiritual power to do the work, accept the discipline, and make the sacrifice. ~Henry Knox Sherrill
Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. ~Charles M. Crowe
Let every man and woman count himself immortal. Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. Let him say not merely, "Christ is risen," but "I shall rise." ~Phillips Brooks
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. ~Douglas Horton
Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. ~S.D. Gordon
Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. ~Albert Laighton
But from this earth, this grave, this dust, My God shall raise me up, I trust. ~Walter Raleigh
He takes men out of time and makes them feel eternity. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
For I remember it is Easter morn, And life and love and peace are all new born. ~Alice Freeman Palmer
We live and die; Christ died and lived! ~John Stott
Those have a short Lent, who owe money to be paid at Easter. ~Benjamin Franklin
Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness. ~Floyd W. Tomkins
And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here. ~St Augustine
The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. ~Carl Knudsen
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time. ~Martin Luther
Well pleaseth me the sweet time of Easter
That maketh the leaf and the flower come out. ~Bertran de Born
Easter tells us that life is to be interpreted not simply in terms of things but in terms of ideals. ~Charles M. Crowe
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Budget Battle - Become More Self Sufficient
This week the news was on the budget battle between the GOP and the Obama Administration. The question is what does this mean for you. The first section is from Vanguard. The last section is security tips.
Vanguard
The U.S. economic engine continues to chug along at a moderate pace, with the latest data showing strong industrial production, reasonable sales growth, and an uptick in inflation. For the week ended April 15, the S&P 500 Index fell 0.6% to 1,320 (for a year-to-date total return, including price change plus dividends, of about 5.5%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note fell 16 basis points to 3.43% (for a year-to-date increase of 13 basis points).
Budget Battle
All of the news media last week was on the Paul Ryan budget plan and the Obama Administration buget plan. Experts will tell all of us what each one means and give us their spin. What is most important to me is what is similar in both plans rather than what is different. We have both political parties talking about cutting spending, aka benefits.
The most important point in both plans is a reduction in future Medicare and Medicaid benefits. This means that future retirement benefits, Medicare part B & D, are going to be reduced. The bottom line is that in the future we all need to be more self sufficient. Ask yourself a simple question, can a government that is going bankrupt really afford to maintain Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid benefits?
The bottom line: If you do not have a retirement plan start one. If you already have a plan add to it. You will thank yourself later.
SECURITY TIPS
Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runshttp://www.crimedoctor.com/and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.
THIRTEEN THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..
5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.
12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.
13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it athttp://www.faketv.com/)
8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:
1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again... If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.
4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.
7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.
8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
Vanguard
The U.S. economic engine continues to chug along at a moderate pace, with the latest data showing strong industrial production, reasonable sales growth, and an uptick in inflation. For the week ended April 15, the S&P 500 Index fell 0.6% to 1,320 (for a year-to-date total return, including price change plus dividends, of about 5.5%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note fell 16 basis points to 3.43% (for a year-to-date increase of 13 basis points).
Budget Battle
All of the news media last week was on the Paul Ryan budget plan and the Obama Administration buget plan. Experts will tell all of us what each one means and give us their spin. What is most important to me is what is similar in both plans rather than what is different. We have both political parties talking about cutting spending, aka benefits.
The most important point in both plans is a reduction in future Medicare and Medicaid benefits. This means that future retirement benefits, Medicare part B & D, are going to be reduced. The bottom line is that in the future we all need to be more self sufficient. Ask yourself a simple question, can a government that is going bankrupt really afford to maintain Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid benefits?
The bottom line: If you do not have a retirement plan start one. If you already have a plan add to it. You will thank yourself later.
SECURITY TIPS
Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runshttp://www.crimedoctor.com/and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.
THIRTEEN THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..
5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.
12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.
13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it athttp://www.faketv.com/)
8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:
1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again... If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.
4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.
7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.
8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
IRA Account Limits
This will cover contribution limits and income limits for IRA accounts. You can contribute either $5,000 or $6,000 per person per year depending upon your age. You can contribute to the amount of your earned income. If you are married, filing jointly, over 50 year old, and you have a combined earned income of $12,000 you can contribute $12,000 per year. You can make a contribution for a year up to April 15th of the following year. So between January and April 15th you can make a contribution for the previous year and the current year. This can be complicated so let me know if you have a question on this subject.
Vanguard
The Federal Reserve Board took center stage this week, as its most recent release highlighted internal debate about its efforts to stimulate the economy while considering inflationary pressures such as fast-rising food and oil prices. Initial jobless claims fell again, but so did a leading indicator of service-sector activity. For the week ended April 8, the S&P 500 Index fell 0.3% to 1,328 (for a year-to-date total return—including price change plus dividends—of about 6.2%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note rose 13 basis points to 3.59% (for a year-to-date increase of 29 basis points).
2010 Combined Traditional and Roth IRA Contribution Limits
If you are under 50 years of age at the end of 2010: The maximum contribution that you can make to a traditional or Roth IRA is the smaller of $5,000 or the amount of your taxable compensation for 2010. This limit can be split between a traditional and a Roth IRA but the combined limit is $5,000. The maximum contribution to a Roth IRA and the maximum deductible contribution to a traditional IRA may be reduced depending upon your modified adjusted gross income (modified AGI).
If you are 50 years of age or older before the end of 2010: The maximum contribution that can be made to a traditional or Roth IRA is the smaller of $6,000 or the amount of your taxable compensation for 2010. This limit can be split between a traditional and a Roth IRA but the combined limit is $6,000. The maximum contribution to a Roth IRA and the maximum deductible contribution to a traditional IRA may be reduced depending upon your modified AGI.
Traditional IRA Income Limits for 2010
In 2010, the modified adjusted gross income or AGI contribution limits for traditional IRAs were raised. If you are covered by a retirement plan at work, then your tax-deductible contribution to a traditional IRA is phased-out if:
•Your filing status is married filing jointly, and your AGI is more than $89,000 but less than $109,000.
•Your filing status is single or head of household, and your AGI is more than $56,000 but less than $66,000.
If your tax filing status is married filing separate returns, then your deductible phase out starts at under $10,000.
Traditional IRA Income Limits for 2011
In 2011, the modified adjusted gross income or AGI contribution limits for traditional IRAs were raised. If you are covered by a retirement plan at work, then your tax-deductible contribution to a traditional IRA is phased-out if:
•Your filing status is married filing jointly, and your AGI is more than $90,000 but less than $110,000.
•Your filing status is single or head of household, and your AGI is more than $56,000 but less than $66,000.
If your tax filing status is married filing separate returns, then your deductible phase out starts at under $10,000.
Roth IRA Income Limits in 2010
•Single filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $105,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $120,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA.
•Joint filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $167,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $177,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA in 2010.
Roth IRA Income Limits in 2011
In 2011, the following income limit rules apply to Roth IRAs:
•Single filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $107,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $122,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA.
•Joint filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $169,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $179,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA in 2011.
Security Tip - Put your car keys beside your bed at night
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
Vanguard
The Federal Reserve Board took center stage this week, as its most recent release highlighted internal debate about its efforts to stimulate the economy while considering inflationary pressures such as fast-rising food and oil prices. Initial jobless claims fell again, but so did a leading indicator of service-sector activity. For the week ended April 8, the S&P 500 Index fell 0.3% to 1,328 (for a year-to-date total return—including price change plus dividends—of about 6.2%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note rose 13 basis points to 3.59% (for a year-to-date increase of 29 basis points).
2010 Combined Traditional and Roth IRA Contribution Limits
If you are under 50 years of age at the end of 2010: The maximum contribution that you can make to a traditional or Roth IRA is the smaller of $5,000 or the amount of your taxable compensation for 2010. This limit can be split between a traditional and a Roth IRA but the combined limit is $5,000. The maximum contribution to a Roth IRA and the maximum deductible contribution to a traditional IRA may be reduced depending upon your modified adjusted gross income (modified AGI).
If you are 50 years of age or older before the end of 2010: The maximum contribution that can be made to a traditional or Roth IRA is the smaller of $6,000 or the amount of your taxable compensation for 2010. This limit can be split between a traditional and a Roth IRA but the combined limit is $6,000. The maximum contribution to a Roth IRA and the maximum deductible contribution to a traditional IRA may be reduced depending upon your modified AGI.
Traditional IRA Income Limits for 2010
In 2010, the modified adjusted gross income or AGI contribution limits for traditional IRAs were raised. If you are covered by a retirement plan at work, then your tax-deductible contribution to a traditional IRA is phased-out if:
•Your filing status is married filing jointly, and your AGI is more than $89,000 but less than $109,000.
•Your filing status is single or head of household, and your AGI is more than $56,000 but less than $66,000.
If your tax filing status is married filing separate returns, then your deductible phase out starts at under $10,000.
Traditional IRA Income Limits for 2011
In 2011, the modified adjusted gross income or AGI contribution limits for traditional IRAs were raised. If you are covered by a retirement plan at work, then your tax-deductible contribution to a traditional IRA is phased-out if:
•Your filing status is married filing jointly, and your AGI is more than $90,000 but less than $110,000.
•Your filing status is single or head of household, and your AGI is more than $56,000 but less than $66,000.
If your tax filing status is married filing separate returns, then your deductible phase out starts at under $10,000.
Roth IRA Income Limits in 2010
•Single filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $105,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $120,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA.
•Joint filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $167,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $177,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA in 2010.
Roth IRA Income Limits in 2011
In 2011, the following income limit rules apply to Roth IRAs:
•Single filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $107,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $122,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA.
•Joint filers with modified adjusted gross income up to $169,000 can make a full contribution. If your adjusted gross income is in excess of $179,000, then you cannot make a contribution to a Roth IRA in 2011.
Security Tip - Put your car keys beside your bed at night
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Cost Basis
This covers the topic of cost basis which is important to understand for tax reasons and to determine your return on your investment. The first part is from Vanguard while the last part is something I got from a person who lives in Tennessee.
Vanguard
Two closely watched gauges of the labor market—the unemployment rate and nonfarm payrolls—registered better-than-expected readings for March, indicating the economic recovery is gaining momentum. By contrast, other reports hinted at signs of weakness. For the week ended April 1, the S&P 500 Index rose 1.4% to 1,332 (for a year-to-date total return—including price change plus dividends—of about 6.4%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note decreased 1 basis point to 3.45% (for a year-to-date increase of 15 basis points).
Cost Basis
The term cost basis is used for determining capital gains and losses for tax purposes. It can be different than the cost of an investmenet. Cost basis is the sum of the initial cost as well as any additional return that is reported to the govenmnet such as a dividend. If an investment pays no dividend then cost and cost basis are the same. If a dividend has been paid then cost and cost basis are different. This is particularly important if you own a mutual fund that invests in bonds.
An example, rounding to make the math simple, would be a $100 initial investment that pays a $5 dividend each year. At the end of 5 years, and 5 dividend payments the cost basis is $125 while the initial cost is $100. The actual value of the investment after 5 years is $130 because it grew by $1 more each year.
You made $30 in 5 years or about 6% annually. You paid dividends during these 5 years so that your cost basis is $125 and you have made $5 more than this cost basis. This means that you had a capital gain of $5 in 5 for a return on your capital of about 1%.
The bottom line is if you want to know how much money you made on an investment always take the current value relative to the initial cost.
Tennessee Home Security Sys-tem
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's work boots – size 16 - 18.
2. Place the work boots on your front porch, along with a well used copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and maga-zine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads –
"Bubba - Bertha, Duke, Slim & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.”
"Cooter"
Vanguard
Two closely watched gauges of the labor market—the unemployment rate and nonfarm payrolls—registered better-than-expected readings for March, indicating the economic recovery is gaining momentum. By contrast, other reports hinted at signs of weakness. For the week ended April 1, the S&P 500 Index rose 1.4% to 1,332 (for a year-to-date total return—including price change plus dividends—of about 6.4%). The yield of the 10-year U.S. Treasury note decreased 1 basis point to 3.45% (for a year-to-date increase of 15 basis points).
Cost Basis
The term cost basis is used for determining capital gains and losses for tax purposes. It can be different than the cost of an investmenet. Cost basis is the sum of the initial cost as well as any additional return that is reported to the govenmnet such as a dividend. If an investment pays no dividend then cost and cost basis are the same. If a dividend has been paid then cost and cost basis are different. This is particularly important if you own a mutual fund that invests in bonds.
An example, rounding to make the math simple, would be a $100 initial investment that pays a $5 dividend each year. At the end of 5 years, and 5 dividend payments the cost basis is $125 while the initial cost is $100. The actual value of the investment after 5 years is $130 because it grew by $1 more each year.
You made $30 in 5 years or about 6% annually. You paid dividends during these 5 years so that your cost basis is $125 and you have made $5 more than this cost basis. This means that you had a capital gain of $5 in 5 for a return on your capital of about 1%.
The bottom line is if you want to know how much money you made on an investment always take the current value relative to the initial cost.
Tennessee Home Security Sys-tem
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's work boots – size 16 - 18.
2. Place the work boots on your front porch, along with a well used copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and maga-zine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads –
"Bubba - Bertha, Duke, Slim & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.”
"Cooter"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)